Parents and Children Learn By Experience

Everyday I see people minding their own life while there are others who are too busy minding about somebody else's life.Everyone around us seemed to be preoccupied by these things--money,fame,glamour,if not friendship,love,or sex,or just nonesense...

I see or hear couples arguing about stupid things.These nonsense arguments usually lead to a more serious fight.Every battle begins with a misunderstanding, and if not solved early will lead to a piled-up misjudgements and harsh comments on each side.A family with parents who keep on arguing usually produced traumatized children.A family becomes fragile if both parents are unstable in their emotions and decisions. Wife starts a fight with her husband because he does not earn enough for the family.If not it is the husband complaining about the overspending of his wife who keeps on shopping and buying unnecessary stuffs..

Living in a world of madness creates stress to the people around and as the younger generations witness the examples of the older generations they have the tendency to copy the same-- in time they might grow up to be exactly like one of their parents.


As a parent, we have to be careful on what we say knowing that children will learn from our example. And when we say NO we have to at least explain why or else they will not obey you.When my son was playing nearby while I was ironing and then later tried to approach me with a curious look on what I was doing,I said No instantly but he didn't understand why and kept on approaching so I scream STOP! He didn't know why I prevented him from approaching and didn't understand why I yelled at him.Little kids don't feel the sense of danger that parents feel... we learn that by experience or by other's experience...so I took his hand and let him feel the warm ironing board. He only understood the danger of "very hot stuffs" when I let him remembered how he reacted the last time he was eating a very hot rice. Another instance was when I was cutting meat in the kitchen, I told him not to play with knives and other sharp object because he might get cut like the meat.One time my husband got an accidental cut so I took the opportunity to show him how it is to get an accident. He was like curious on interviewing his father to know how it feels and later on told him to be careful next time.


My point is, we don't just say NO to somebody without saying an explanation. Arguments starts when somebody is taking his authority over someone but that someone is doing a rebellion. In order to establish trust between each other, the other one has to make an honest if not invented explanation.I know a little child asking so much questions is sometimes a pain in the ass-- especially if you don't know the answer or how to answer according to the child's level of understanding.Even if sometimes, you just guess or invent an explanation,at least, there is a little explanation he got.


Communication is very important to establish an agreement and understanding. But to communicate with someone we have to be tactful on selecting less harsh words if we want to do sermon or scolding. Try to be gentle with words yet firm in your eye-contact. Eye contact is important if you want your point to be understood. Then whatever it is that you argue about, try to pause and take time to listen to the other party, you might realize it's just a misunderstanding.It happend already many times especially if both are talking and none of them listened but the people surrounding them.